Going through a divorce is a difficult situation, but it is even more challenging when there are children involved. If you are in this spot, it is imperative that you don’t fall for any of the common myths that circulate about child custody.
Making sure that you have your facts straight can help as you make decisions about your case. Trying to base your decisions off of someone else’s circumstances can be devastating because there isn’t any guarantee that your case will end the same way.
Children can’t choose where to live
In almost all cases, the court or you and your ex will decide where the children will live. It is highly unlikely that the children will be given the final say. Of course, children who can express their feelings and the reasoning behind those wishes may have a say in what is going to happen. The children’s opinion might be considered but it won’t necessarily be the final say. Ultimately, the court is going to consider the best interest of the kids when making decisions about custody.
Mothers don’t always get full custody
Years ago, it was commonly thought that the children were best with their mother. This isn’t the case any longer. The father has just as much of a chance to have custody of the children. Many different custody arrangements exist now. Parents might choose to co-parent or parallel parent. Some opt to use the bird’s nest arrangement. You should consider your children’s needs when negotiating a custody arrangement and schedule. Often, it is best for the children to have equal time with both parents or as close to that as they can get.
Parents can’t communicate through the children
You and your ex need to make sure that you are communicating directly with each other. Not only does this take the guesswork out of things, it takes the stress off of the children by not expecting them to act as messengers. There are many options for communicating with each other. You can discuss matters in person or over the phone. Using text messages, private chats or other online messages might also be good ideas.
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