Coming to the realization that your marriage is over isn’t an easy one for anyone. There are times when one spouse realizes that they aren’t happy but the other is still living in the land of bliss. This is a challenging situation and one that requires careful planning.
One of the things you are going to have to do if you are in this situation is let your spouse know that you want a divorce. The emotions involved will make it difficult, but you will likely feel better once you get everything off your chest.
Think about your concerns
Before you can talk to your spouse, you need to think about the reasons you aren’t happy. It might help you to list these out. Note if there have been any steps taken to rectify the situation. This can help ensure that you truly do want to file the divorce, but it can also provide an outline of things to discuss when you sit your spouse down to let them know that you want to end the marriage.
Plan when you will speak up
This is a major discussion that is best handled when you can speak privately with your spouse. If you have children, you might consider making sure that they aren’t home at the time. Ideally, you won’t need to have this discussion in a public place like a restaurant. There is a good chance that emotions are going to soar, so being home can give you and your spouse the space you need to deal with this situation. The exception is if you feel your safety is in danger. In that case, find a safe place, even if it means having a neutral third party present when you make this announcement.
Remain calm and be willing to discuss the matter
Remember, this is big, life-changing news that you are sharing with someone who loves you. Try to remain calm when you tell them. They might be shocked and may react in a negative manner. No matter what, don’t meet their reaction with anger.
In some cases, people want to discuss the matter before they accept that the marriage is over. Be prepared to answer questions and have a two-sided discussion. If you don’t have any interest in trying to work things out, be forward about this from the start. Giving false hope isn’t ever a good idea.
Once you have let your spouse know that you want to divorce, you can get the paperwork filed. Make sure that you understand the process in California so that you can prepare for what’s to come. This likely won’t be quick or simple, so get ready to take things one step at a time.
Recently, I came to face to face one of the most horrifying break ups in my life with a man who not only became frightening and threatening, but did refuse...
After a two-decade relationship – 17 years married – my ex and I had children and had accrued businesses and assets. Needless to say, mediation did not work for us...
Hello David, I wanted to thank you again for handling our case. We are very happy with the outcome and with your prompt and professional service. That was a very...
Thank you all for your help in getting my divorce finished, it is a huge weight off my shoulders. It is unbelievable to have an end date for payments and...
I recommend David Lederman. I hired David 1-6 months ago. David handled my Child Custody matter. I have previously worked with 1-2 lawyers. To say that my case is high-conflict...
Dear David, Beth, Just a quick, heartfelt note to thank you for everything you have done for me financially, emotionally, and psychologically. You have made the last two years as...
Hi Mr Lederman, I have received all of the moneys due to me and all of our property has been divided. There are no more issues for us to solve....
Dear Mr. Lederman, There are no words to describe how I feel right now that the divorce proceeding is final. I still can’t believe it’s over. There are many people...
By James T. Hayes, Associate Attorney at Law Offices of David M. Lederman Since the landmark Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015, same-sex couples have been granted...
Many people are repeatedly harassed or abused by family members, co-workers, or potentially friends or acquaintances who may be obsessed with them and want to stalk their every move. If...
By Tabasum Kawos, Associate Attorney at Law Offices of David M. Lederman In a move set to significantly revamp the child support landscape, California will implement major changes to its...
(925) 522-8889
© 2024 David M. Lederman Law. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer