Don’t let the past cause stress in your divorce

Even when a divorce is expected, both parties are likely going through a range of emotions. This can make it difficult to handle everything as you move forward through the process. For some people, the initial realization that the marriage is over is the catalyst for very strong feeling that can make it hard to handle things in a reasonable manner.

If you are struggling with the situation, take the time to reevaluate where you are in life and find suitable answers to the issues that are causing strife. There are some options that you have that deal directly with the divorce that can help you in these areas.

Stand your ground, but be willing to negotiate

One huge source of divorce stress is trying to figure out things like child custody and property division. When you and your ex don’t agree on how something should be handled, negotiations can help to break the stalemate. This doesn’t mean that you have to always bend to what your ex is demanding. Instead, try to find reasonable solutions that prioritize your childrens’ well-being.

You might benefit from making a list of the things you feel are most important so you can battle for these and leave more leeway in the other decisions. This enables you to focus your energy on what you feel is important.

Give your kids stability

Children who go through their parents’ divorce often worry about what the future will hold. If you and your ex can start to work as a parenting team instead of people on different teams, the children will likely adjust better to the situation. It can also prevent them from trying to play you against your ex since they know their parents are still working together. Having to deal with a child who attempts to manipulate their parents is exhausting so it is best to cut this off at the pass.

Distance yourself from the situation

Because you might be dealing with intense emotions that come with the end of a marriage, it is best to distance yourself from the divorce. You will still have to deal with things like meetings and court dates, but you don’t have to worry about things like getting back at your ex for what led to the divorce. Instead, work through those feelings and leave them in the past. Being petty or trying to get revenge can make your divorce contentious. Go into the negotiations or proceedings with the mindset that you will make progress.

Related Links:

• Deciding what to do with your home in a California divorce
• Dividing intangible assets during a divorce
• Do-it-yourself versus attorney-assisted divorces
• Evaluate your parenting plan during and after divorce
• How an attorney can help in a high asset divorce
• How can you reduce the stress of every divorce?
• How parents agree on their children’s medical decisions after divorce