Parenting plans: Choose your battles based on a child’s needs

Parents who are divorcing have to set a plan for the children as early in the process as possible. Children need stability, so having to wait for a long divorce to finalize might not be in their best interests. They should be able to get accustomed to the new schedule and way of doing things quickly.

Unfortunately, not all exes find it easy to work out the terms of the custody agreement. Instead of going into the situation expecting that you’ll have to battle your ex every step of the way, you might be able to go into it assuming that both adults can put the kids first to come up with a plan that’s best for them.

Focus on now

The only thing that you need to focus on when you’re trying to work out a custody agreement is what’s best for your children. You need to think about what they need now. Don’t think about what your ex did that led to the end of the marriage or what you expect to happen in the future. Instead, consider how important your child’s relationship with the other parent is.

Setting the parenting plan based on what the child needs right now can help to ensure that they have a chance to adjust to the change. There is the possibility of modifying the agreement as the children get older and have different needs.

Take a step back

Some aspects of setting up the parenting plan might be contentious. When this occurs, take a step back from the situation so that you can ensure the decision you’re making is in the child’s best interests. You may realize that smaller issues aren’t worth fighting over. This enables you to save your energy and efforts for trying to get the larger and more important issues resolved in an appropriate manner.

Every decision you make should focus on ensuring your children are safe and healthy. They need to know that they have a solid foundation to stand on even though they are living in two different homes.

You and your ex know your children better than anyone else. By working together to set up the terms of the parenting plan, you can help to ensure that your child’s true needs are addressed. If you can’t do this for some reason, you can always turn to the court to have the custody order set.

Related Links:

• Planning for single parents of special needs children
• Tips for working with a co-parent who is being difficult
• Tips to promote co-parenting
• Plan for Raising the Children Before Permanent Orders are Issues