Tips for working with a co-parent who is being difficult

Child custody matters aren’t always easy to handle, but they are especially difficult when you are dealing with a co-parent who is being uncooperative. Some people just can’t let the past go. This can be horrible in child custody cases because the parent who can’t move on is going to put a damper on the child’s life.

Finding ways to work around the situation can be a challenge. As time progresses, you have two options – you can either try to rise above the negativity or you can allow it to consume your life. The first option is the one you should try to make happen because you and your children deserve to thrive.

Embrace uncertainty

Part of a regular life is uncertainty. You can’t choose what your ex is going to do, but you can control your reactions. Once you realize that you can make a decision about every aspect of your life, you can figure out how you can thrive. You can teach your children how to embrace the things they can’t control and be empowered to address the things they can control.

For example, if your co-parent doesn’t always show up to get the kids, you can’t control that. What you can control is how you are going to respond. Instead of belittling your ex, show your children that they can overcome the challenge. Take the time to listen to their feelings and work with them to find healthy ways to communicate.

Find ways to improve daily

Self-improvement is a huge way that you can address the uncooperative co-parent. There is a chance that you are accustomed to always letting your ex have their way. This might have been a coping mechanism during your marriage since it helped you avoid confrontation and conflict. Now that you are a single parent, you have to find ways to improve yourself so you can truly enjoy your life.

Working with your children to improve the current family dynamics can also help. This might mean taking time for yourself in the morning so you can get centered and ready to face the day. Once you have done this, you may enjoy breakfast with your kids so they can start the day off on the right foot.

Make your life your own

In a co-parenting relationship, it is difficult to focus on making your life your own because you are working with your ex. There are some aspects of the co-parenting plan that you won’t be able to change. This might be joint house rules or the schedule. You need to sit down and figure out what you can do to make your life your own. This can be something as simple as painting your bedroom or the living room a color you love but that your ex would never agree to. Find new hobbies that you enjoy. Figure out what you can do with your children that they love, too.

Another thing is to make sure that your parenting plan accurately outlines what your children need and how to address these considerations. If the plan is not adequate, and there are valid grounds to do so, consider seeking a modification of the current order.

Related Links:

• Planning for single parents of special needs children
• Tips to promote co-parenting
• Parenting plans: Choose your battles based on a child’s needs
• Plan for Raising the Children Before Permanent Orders are Issues