After finalizing your divorce, you may feel the worst is behind you. While this is largely true, there is a new challenge that divorced parents need to undertake: co-parenting. There are many negative effects that kids can experience because of divorce, and it is up to both parents to put aside their differences and protect their children from them. To help you and your ex-spouse with co-parenting, here are a few tips you can follow:
While you may have a custody arraignment, it is important to follow the regimen closely. There are many things that can delay your schedule, but you need to be sure to try your best to keep to the routine. Maintaining and keeping to a routine with your kids helps them adapt to this new way of living and also promotes respect with your ex by showing them that you value their time as well as your own.
Even if you and your ex are following a routine, things will arise that will call for a change in plans. Instead of not working with your spouse to address the issue by swapping visitation weekends or extending a visitation period by a day or two, your ex may act out of spite and refuse to help you in the future if you need it.
While it may seem convenient to have your kids deliver messages for you to the other spouse, do not make your kids the messenger in your divorce. Kids can get frustrated if they forget the original message or cannot answer any follow-up questions, so be sure to speak to your ex on your own. Additionally, asking your kids to report on their other parent’s behavior can make them feel guilty for doing so or can cause them to resent you for asking them.
When adjusting to life as a newly single parent, make sure you are doing what you can to put your kids first. The consequences of a divorce in children can last a lifetime, and it is up to you and your ex to make sure you are giving your kids everything they need to grow into well-adjusted adults. By working with your ex-spouse, you can fight these negative consequences and promote two happy homes for your kids to live in.
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